A Nightmare
It's been six years in AMU, Aligarh. I'd have never thought of having someone in my life. I hadn't felt this way in years. Just the way she looked at me. There was something like infinite, magnetic power in her eyes. Hence, I was slipping from my own strong grip.
The simplicity of her gorgeous chaos always contradicted the intense conversation we had.
"You have beautiful eyes and a sunny personality" she said. "Thank you" I replied.
I realized that how difficult was it to spend even a moment without her.
She was like room temperature water on a dry winter morning. Sometimes, she was hotter than I could had ever imagined. And I didn't even know I was parched. Everything was imperfectly perfect. The dew of love was being poured upon me. I got accustomed of her company. More so, it seemed to me like an indissoluble tie.
The only thing bothering me was that it was all too good to be true.
She just changed the whole world around me. I was getting used to her. I would wake up to her morning breath and would spend the whole day.
We had nothing to hide. Though, I broke up with Nahid couple of months ago and she knew it. Most importantly, we had no dark secret which could be mandatory to share with each other. She made me realize how worthy I had been in those days.
I found comfort in her silence.
Sitting in bed all day, we had conversation for hours, and never got bored. And then, we'd make wild love till we lost track of what day it was. She'd hugh me so tightly like she'd never let me go. I was thrilled to see her while she was taking the lead.
I didn't get whether she was extremely possessive or it was something else.
If I talk of going out, she'd freak out. I started to worrying about this sort of compulsive behavior. I started feeling trapped in my own room.
They say love sets you free. It liberates you. It enables to look for your own individuality. But she was clipping my wings. It seemed to me that I was imprisoned. Like I was caged in chaos. She wouldn't let me meet my friends, my classmates, my surroundings, etc.
Her elusive behavior made me perplexed. Though, she explained to me as to why she didn't like me meeting people. Due to which we often had screamathon.
I genuinely felt manipulated by her love. She had not just become a worst nightmare rather a witch to cause the widespread destruction in my life. It was not just control or subjugation. it was more than that. And I didn't even have the energy to fight with her.
She was like drowning me in a tub.
And I needed to come above the surface to breathe. I realized that breaking up with her is the kindest thing to do with myself.
The very next morning, when I was trying to sneak out of my room, she woke up by the sound of the door. By the time, she could stop me from going out, I surreptitiously locked the door. And I set myself free from that bondage.
This is how I started a journey of my worthy goal.
Nehal Ahmad
